


I Know It’s Hard

by ALM3DA



Series: thoughts and prayers [1]
Category: On My Block (TV)
Genre: Childhood Friends, F/M, Freeridge, Gangs, I wrote this on the bus six months ago, One Shot, SUGAR by Brockhampton, This was too precious to be posted on Wattpad with their shitty algorithm, au-ish, idiots to lovers, posted on tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:00:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22855873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALM3DA/pseuds/ALM3DA
Summary: They love each other. A stupid gang war won’t change that.
Relationships: Monse Finnie & Cesar Diaz, Monse Finnie/Cesar Diaz
Series: thoughts and prayers [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2129985
Comments: 1
Kudos: 46





	I Know It’s Hard

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to SUGAR by Brockhampton, while you read. You won’t regret it.

The late night air is cool. The sound of crickets fills the silence. Monse and Cesar lay on the grass in her backyard, watching the stars. His hand touches hers but they aren't holding hands. They can't hold hands, they're just friends. Best friends.

Best friends from opposite sides of the playing field. Best friends who risk their lives every time they want to see each other's faces. Best friends who touch and hold each other and feel odd when anyone else touches and holds them in the same ways. 

Maybe because it doesn't feel the same—doesn't feel as good.

But for some reason this—sneaking around just to get a taste of what it could always be like, is worth what could happen if they get caught. If Monty or even Latrelle, the boy whose been chasing after Monse for the longest, saw how close they were or noticed that a Santo was on their side, the consequence would be brutal.

_Cesar would barely make it out alive_ , is always the first thing that comes to her mind when the scenario of them getting caught plays inside her head. She tells him her thoughts on occasion, but he doesn't seem to care.

" _'S all worth it if I get to spend time with you, Cariña_ ," He says, in the most nonchalant of ways. It pisses her off but she can't really be mad, not when through all her worrying, she still sneaks out in the darkness of the night to meet him at their spot. Not when she keeps a chain with his initial on it hidden under her pillow. Not even when she lies about the marks he leaves with his mouth being from breakouts caused by allergies she doesn't have.

They both understand the risks, the dangers, the absolute mayhem they could cause, but still recklessly make ways to see each other. So reckless that hoping nobody would open the closet door or notice the open window have been the difference between success and failure more times than they can count.

They're messy, but determined. Confused, but positive that this is real. When Cesar looks her in the eyes and decides to attack her with his hands and lips, whispering things like, " _You're so beautiful_ ," or when Monse calls him over, just to cuddle and says things like, " _I missed you_ ," it further solidifies that notion.

Cesar grabs her hand in fullness, his large hand covering her smaller, delicate one. He squeezes, hoping she'll grab his hand back and she does.

"I have to go soon." He says in an almost whispering voice.

"No, you don't." She pipes up, "It's late and my dad won't be back until morning—"

"Monse, you already know I can't. Don't argue with me—just this once." Her mood changes and she squeezes his hand so tight it almost hurts. "What's wrong?"

"I wish we didn't have to sneak around like this."

"Me too," he sighs, "but you already know what you're dad would do if he caught us together. And imagine my tia—she'd kick me out in a heartbeat."

He was right. Monty was always kinda lax on rules, but one that has been ingrained into her head since puberty hit her like a train, " _Don't bring home a Santo_." She couldn't understand why, but that was the rule. No side-switching, no falling in-love with someone who could shoot up the block your family lived on the next day.

It was the same story with Cesar. Every time he'd go to visit his brother, Oscar, he would be reminded to find a girl who Los Santos would approve of. Every time he'd see Sad Eyes he was trying to hook him up with one of his primas. His tía would say that it's weird how such handsome boy didn't have a girlfriend, but she never pressed it. Simply left it to God to " _give him a good girl_."

It was all honestly kind of ridiculous. It's not like you have control over who you fall for. It just happens, sort of like this just happened. They've been best friends since the fourth grade, so this, they feel, in a really messed up way, was always bound to happen.

Boy meets Girl on the playground. They become best friends. Time goes on. Boy grows up. Girl grows up. Boy realizes he likes Girl. Girl realizes she likes Boy. Boy and Girl fall in love.

That's the basic layout for so many classic love stories. Just add feuding gangs, guns and drugs and use the you've got this!

The precious babygirl of the notorious Monty Finnie and the Prince of Los Santos—together. Craziest thing anybody ever heard. Most people would say it didn't make sense to fight for small bits of time together, but then again love, especially young love, barely ever makes sense.

Making sense is the last thing they're worried about anyways, but enjoying moments like this—is.

When Cesar finally kisses her a goodnight and finds the will to pull away from her lips, the moment is over. They promise to meet at their spot, on Saturday night, after everyone else is gone. With that he's gone. She goes inside to warm herself and prays that he sends that goodnight text that lets her know he got home okay.

After she's showered and she finally gets that text

Cesar // 1:10am  
Goodnight  
Sweet dreams Honey Badger

She smiles and feels her face flush. It such a simple, generic text, but it's from Cesar. It's weird, but it always happens. She can't contain herself, he just makes her so happy.

And little does she know, when she replies...

Monse // 1:11am  
Goodnight Cuddle bear

That his smile could light up a room.


End file.
